Economic Flowchart

Also,

Do you like PhD Comics?

I think this one is brilliant :)

You probably will, too, even if you have no idea what PhDComics is …

Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It

That’s actually a Fox news title. Here’s the story. Ironic, and yet, funny …

The oldest animal in the world WAS a rather unassuming clam. Now it’s something else. I liked this quote especially, from a postdoc on the scene:

“For our work, it’s a bonus, but it wasn’t good for this particular animal.”

Not to get too political about the whole thing, but I do believe that’s really the story of the human race and our expansion :P

I’ve posted the story below:

Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It

British marine biologists have found what may be the oldest living animal — that is, until they killed it.

The team from Bangor University in Wales was dredging the waters north of Iceland as part of routine research when the unfortunate specimen, belonging to the clam species Arctica islandica, commonly known as the ocean quahog, was hauled up from waters 250 feet deep.

Only after researchers cut through its shell, which made it more of an ex-clam, and counted its growth rings did they realize how old it had been — between 405 and 410 years old.

Another clam of the same species had been verified at 220 years old, and a third may have lived 374 years. But this most recent clam was the oldest yet.

“Its death is an unfortunate aspect of this work, but we hope to derive lots of information from it,” postdoctoral scientist Al Wanamaker told London’s Guardian newspaper. “For our work, it’s a bonus, but it wasn’t good for this particular animal.”

“Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?”

Only one man could so completely satirize the left, the right, the center, candidates, voters, men, women, children, himself, the books he’s read, the book he’s written, and the very paper he’s writing in, at once.

I love this man.

And yes, David B., this one’s for you (just a little bit). I miss your TV >:D

.

Stephen Colbert writes a cameo column for the New York Times
(scroll down four paragraphs to skip Maureen Dowd’s intro)

.

Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.

What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.

I heard the man is extraordinarily depressed in real life. Can anyone confirm/deny?

Ludicrous

From WIRED: Woman Sues Over Apple’s iPhone Price Cut

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — A New York woman is so angry at Apple Inc. for lopping $200 off the price of the iPhone that she’s filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million in damages … According to Li’s lawsuit, filed on Sept. 24 in the U.S. District Court, Eastern District of New York, the price reduction injured early purchasers like herself because they cannot resell the product for the same profit as those who bought the cell phone following the price cut.

So let me (try to) get this straight:

… she’s hoping to collect the money for ALL the people who can’t resell their iphones????!??!?!?

… Someone willing to pay $600 for a phone really sustained $1mill in damages?

… her pride was damaged at $1mill.

spilled coffee, anyone?

How a Millionaire’s Brain Works

This is a great article (from FortuneWatch.com). I can’t add anything to it, so I’ve just posted it below. Enjoy :)

A man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for the loan officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to Philippines on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan.

Then the man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.The bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the guy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there.Two weeks later, the guy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow “$5,000″.

The millionaire replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

… and we’re back.

I think this story is just hysterical … I love the Human Element :)

Handcuffed kids steal U.S. border agent car

MONTERREY, Mexico (Reuters) – Three Mexican minors detained in California on suspicion of smuggling drugs stole a U.S. Border Patrol car while still wearing handcuffs and drove it back across the border to Mexico.

Police in the Mexican border city of Mexicali said on Tuesday the three boys had been driving a pick-up truck on a remote Californian highway when a Border Patrol agent stopped them.

Suspicious they were carrying marijuana, he handcuffed them and put them in his patrol car while he searched their truck.

“As the agent was doing his search, he left the vehicle running and the keys in the ignition, so one of the lads, still wearing handcuffs, grabbed the steering wheel and they headed back to Mexico,” a police spokesman said.

The Border Patrol, which plays cat and mouse around the clock with illegal Mexican migrants and drug traffickers, confirmed the vehicle was stolen in southern California on Sunday and driven over the border near Mexicali.

Mexican police used a helicopter to locate the patrol vehicle in a remote agricultural area near the border.

© Reuters 2007.

23_RTRUKOC_0_US-MEXICO-USA-THEFT.xml (haha!!!) also… what’s really interesting is the commentary, here: http://news.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/09/25/a-happiness-gap/

Small moments (“We’re not in Kansas any more…”)

I find that the details add up toM a greater picture. A few details from my life, for you:

“when my life is over!!”

Was talking with my apartment-mate, Charlene (19, blond, from Florida and now from Washington, DC), and she was telling me about an ex-boyfriend she’s still good friends with, “the kind of guy,” she said, “where, you know, we’ll probably get married when our lives are over…

…like when we’re 30, you know?”

ba-dah-bum …

Today, my Brazilian friend Rodrigo called on the telephone (ah, yes, i have a home phone number now, too, if anyone wants it, although please don’t leave a message because i don’t know how to pick them up…). Rodrigo’s very cool, and while we generally speak in Spanish, his English is really good as well (he’s also lived in the US and Canada), and we can switch seamlessly back and forth, esp. in mixed company.

In any case, Rodrigo calls on the tele to see if I wanted to see a movie. I said (all in Spanish) “which one did you want to see?”

“Oh, there’s La Reina (The Queen) at 10:00, or El Buen Pastor (The Good Shepherd) at 10:20.”

Me: What’s El Buen Pastor about?”

Him: “oh, it’s about this guy who’s involved with the SEEUH”

“el … como? (the … what?)”

“The SEEUH”

“…”

(In Spanish, still) “I don’t know how you say it in English … like the KGB, but American”

“Oh, the CIA!”

… he’d read the letters phonetically (like “AIDS”), but in spanish. We giggled about this a bit, and then went out to see El Buen Pastor. This is the kind of thing I’m loving about learning a second language, though; the viral, smile-producing hangups and small things – even when I hate the hangups, they make me laugh (if not now, later)…

The Elevator:

My building has a lovely marble entryway, huge, like a hotel lobby (like every other apartment building i’ve been in here), and a set of Porteros (doormen) working in shift to watch the door. You go in (they know you and buzz you in) and then get in one of two elevators to go up to my floor (8). The elevators have two doors, one for the piso (floor/level) and one for the actual elevator itself. the elevator has a tendency to beep hysterically if a door’s left open more than about 15 seconds.

Anyway, my roommate, Charlene, had left earlier for a run as I was on my way in. I got a ring and answered the door phone, and it was one of the porteros speaking very quickly, in heavily accented Argentine Spanish (which almost isn’t spanish, sometimes). “…chica! … ascensor! … sube!.. ascensor! … puerto!“

girl… elevator…going up… elevator… door

… … my roommate is locked out? (in spanish) “sure, let her in!” I buzzed the door and hung up.

a minute later, the same phone call. … “cierra la puerta! El ascensor esta…”

.. oh. that loud noise in the hall? The elevator, complaining about being stuck ’cause i didn’t close the door.

I closed the door.

Breast

In the subway today, there was a girl – must’ve been about my age – breast-feeding her 1 year old on the subway. I looked over and then did one of those trying-not-to-look-like-i’m-staring tourist retakes; she’d just pulled down her shirt and latched him on, no cover, nothing. She got up at my stop and just walked off, baby sucking at her, cradled in her arms. It looked natural, not uncomfotable at all, and the baby’s hand curled around her back and fastened itself on her shirt.

I found myself thinking that this must be the way it was when our far-back ancestors were wandering the plains somewhere; feed the baby and keep on walking.

… next, they’ll be telling us it’s good and natural to exercise while feeding a baby. Just watch; my grandkids’ll get on a treadmill with a baby in the sling, breastfeeding, turn on the news, put their headphones on, and call a friend to chat, all while eating breakfast (which will come in a squishy, recyclable bag with a straw…)

Seriously, though – it was one of those little things where I just had a moment of whiplash, a moment where I felt like Dorothy, a moment where Oz seemed a bit too strange for me …